The Philadelphia Phillies clinched a playoff spot yesterday. However, I’d like to call it a muted celebration because the team did not win yesterday’s game against the Kansas City Royals. Instead, they “backed” in by virtue of a loss by the San Francisco Giants. Now the Phils head out on a difficult road trip, visiting the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Arizona Diamondbacks. It’s real simple: one more victory and Philadelphia repeats as National League East champions.
For all that is good in the world, and for my sweet daughter Caitlyn, please clinch the division tonight.
Don’t fool around. Don’t drag this out any longer. Hang five runs on Anthony Banda in the first inning and let Ranger Suarez cook. Have Kyle Schwarber boost his MVP credentials with a three run home run in the third inning. Make those notorious Dodger fans leave in the fifth inning instead of the seventh. Let’s have Caitlyn go into school tomorrow in a fabulous mood. If the Phils lose tonight, I will be peppered with things like, “why do we stink” or, “can the Mets catch us” or my personal potential favorite, “we are regressing”. I don’t need such talk at 7: 30 AM and neither does Matthew. I’ll have to play “Dancing on My Own”, the team’s 2022 song, on a loop in order for her to feel better. No offense to the song because I like it but we need to hear it after a win, not a loss.
It’s an hour before first pitch. I’ll make three innings at most. And when I wake up in the morning, I want footage of champagne and beer goggles. It’s not a lot to ask.
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